just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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