Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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