Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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