Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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