U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
