Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
