And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
