where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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