They should really pass out barf bags in church
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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