maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I touched a dick in church today
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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