turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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