I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
