I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I could fuck to npr.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
