My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
