It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
