If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
