I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
