Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I need moral support for this bender
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Boobs are out for the taking
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
