Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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