the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
