you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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