I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
