i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Randomize