i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
