She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
