Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize