just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
