i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
