Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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