So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
