Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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