I never want to see another naked old woman again.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
