The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
