What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
