He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just want to make out with him forever
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
