why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
