What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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