That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
