Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
