she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
