I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
