i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
