piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
