my soul wont recognize me after tonight
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
