I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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