Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
