I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's shark week go big or go home
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
