And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize