honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
false alarm. still invincible.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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