Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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