How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Can you bring me the toilet please
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
