I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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