This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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