Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
