he shaved USA in his pubs
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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