oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
