Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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