I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
