he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
