ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
