Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize