Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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