Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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