Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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